Where's Summer B?

*Sigh* Is anyone else sick and tired of school right now? It blows...

Anyway, so if anyone has read my earlier blog posts you might remember the incident where I had a toe injury... if you don't have any recollection of this or if you don't have any knowledge of the subject you can get a recap here. Well, turns out I lost the toenail completely. Yeah, it has looked gross for some time now, but now it's gone. Speaking of the word, "gross" I've been hearing it a lot lately. Anytime someone looks at my left leg I get one of these reactions:

• Oh, my God!! That looks disgusting
  
• Eww... what happened?
• Oh, shit. That looks like it hurts

(I would insert a picture here) but I thought I would spare you from cringing. I would say it looks like if Cujo attacked and ate Grimace and then threw up on my leg....

So, you might be wondering, why does my leg look like vomit from an oddly purple colored chicken nugget...? Well, turns out that last week during a game in my softball class there were two outs and so that means to run on anything. The person up to bat hit the ball, so I ran home and the catcher was blocking the whole plate by standing right in front of it. What he should of done was move his body out of the way and only have his glove with the ball in the running lane....but no. So, my only option was to slide in. I slid feet first and I caught the bottom of the catcher's legs and probably took out his ankles, but after I did this I guess he lost his balance and then stepped on my leg. And by the way he was wearing baseball cleats and he's not the most fit guy, if you know what I mean... I have to admit that at the time it hurt so bad that it took me a while to get up from the dirt, but I still continued to play. It didn't even occur to me that the catcher got hurt, since he was the one that cleated my leg... The game continued and I noticed that the catcher was sitting in the bleachers with a large bag of ice on his leg. Surprised, I asked if he was alright and he said, "yeah I think I'll be ok." The douchebag didn't even ask how I was.... all he said was, "I shouldn't have blocked the base." He must have taken the words out of my thoughts, but I didn't say anything. The only upside was that we actually won that game, so after I limped back to campus. When we had class again Monday while I was stretching the catcher (Greg) was sat next to me and this was the gist of our conversation:

Me: "Hey, Greg. How was your Easter?"

Greg: "Good, good. Yours?

Me: "Yeah, pretty good. So, did you see my battle scar? (referring to my bruised leg)

Greg: "Yeah, I have one too." He looked at his leg searching for a bruise to show me, but I saw nothing... "Well, it was bad, but I guess it's gone now."

Me: "Uh, huh..."

Greg got up and started to warm-up before the game started. Rose, another girl in my class saw my bruise and was of course disgusted by the looks of it. I told her it was from sliding into Greg and she said,

Rose: "Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I remember you took him out. I didn't understand that though because you were the one that got hurt."

Me: "Yeah, I know."

Rose: "Well, I saw it happen and then afterwards he seriously looked like he was about to cry."

Me: "Haha really?"

Rose: "Haha yeah. What a baby."

I didn't know that he was on the verge of crying, but c'mon.... Just like Jimmy Dugan says, "There's no crying in baseball."

*****

On a completely different subject.... I just got a freaking parking ticket. Let me just say that it's bullshit. I had the understanding that you could park anywhere on a curb where it doesn't say "NO PARKING ANY TIME," or in a red zone. There's a spot on campus that used to be a 15 minute customer service zone, but now that sign was taken down and so a lot of people park there. That spot is usually always taken, but today it was vacated. So, hooray a parking spot!! But, no... I got a freaking ticket. Lame...

*****

Sorry for the filler, but nothing too exciting to report. Add some jibber jabber to my comment page HERE.

Silence is Golden...Sometimes

This week = SUCKAGE

NCAA Men's Final Four/Championship --> sucked

All of my picks played like crap and were eliminated...lame

Intramural softball co-ed team --> is sucking

Aside from one dude that hit a grand slam, this girl from my softball team, and myself... the team that drafted me is beyond belief bad. *sigh*

My team that I hand picked for my basketball class --> will suck

Once again I pretty much didn't get to pick any guys over 6'... The team as a whole is moderately tall, but no specific "big guy." Today we played for kicks to get used to each other... ended up with a record of 0 - 3. Bleh I don't want to get used to losing...

School --> always sucks

So, last week was pretty brutal with 5 exams, but next week I have to finish writing a 10 page paper, 15 page paper, and prepare for a 20 -25 minute presentation. I seriously thought of skipping the rest of my classes for the semester and just show up for finals.

*****

On a lighter note... It's Filipino Birthday month!!!

Grace: 4-18
Andrea: 4-19
Praul: 4-20

Let's get together and drink our worries away, shall we?

*****

So, this week I thought that my blog post was just going to be a filler because nothing exciting was happening. But... today my friends you're in luck.

Before my Japanese class I ran into Praul in the library downstairs. He was frantically cramming for an exam, for one of his computer science classes I think. Well, anyway I finished up my Japanese homework and wished him luck before I headed to class. Japanese was the sameo, just boring dialogues, activities and a pop quiz. After class, I called Paul to see how his exam went and got his voice mail. So, I just hung up and went back down to the library to do s'more work before my next class started. Right when I sat down Praul was calling me back. So, I answered and was whispering* because I didn't want to bother the people around me too much. *Keep in mind that the library level I was in was not a "quiet study" area, but I still try to be a little courteous to others near me Anyway, Praul was telling me about his exam and stuff and while I was sitting there, a girl from an adjacent table came up to me. This is how my semi-3-way-conversation went: *On the phone = blue / *in person = purple

Praul: "Yeah, I didn't get to finish my exam. I messed up on the first question and I was working on that one trying to fix it for like 20 minutes."

Me: "Oh, really? That sucks."

Some bitch: "Um, are you going to get off the phone soon?"

Paul: "Yeah, I'm going to talk to my professor about it."

Me: "What?"

Some bitch: "I said are you going to get off the phone? Because this is a library*." *she said this while putting her hands up in the air making it obvious that it was indeed a library

Paul: "Herro?"

Me: Hang on."

Me *while giving her an ugly 'I can't believe you just said that to me look': "Uh, yeah I know. But, you know what? This isn't even a 'quiet' area."

Some bitch: "Oh, really?"

Me: "Yeah, really."

Some bitch: "Well, I guess carrying on then."

Me: "Yeah, I was planning on it."

Paul: "Herro?"

Me: "OK, sorry. What were you saying?"

-----Then Paul finished telling me about his exam and how he wants to play ABBA SingStar soon and I hang up the phone. Our conversation maybe lasted 1 or 2 minutes I would say.

After that, I pulled out some papers to work on and was writing and then 'some bitch' slowly walks up to me and drops a small piece of paper on top of my work and sits back down. Here's what it was:

She looked at me and I just grabbed the paper read it and said to her, "Yeah, don't worry about it." And then I nonchalantly continued my work. She must have gotten so embarrassed because she went back to her table, was working on something for maybe 5 minutes and got up and left. Haha Priceless...

******

I swear, I think people who have the nerve to go up to someone who is obviously trying to be quiet to tell them to be quiet... just like the sound of their own voices. I don't know about youse guys, but it takes a lot for me to confront someone and ask them to do or not do something.

Exempli gratia:

• At the movies when someone repeatedly kicks the back of my seat... I just turn and look behind me trying to give that person a hint that the kicking is bothering me.
• If a server forgets something or if my order is wrong... I am disappointed, but most likely I won't complain.
• When a person in line in front of me, like at Wal-Mart or something and is being really slow or is paying with like 10,000 pennies... I just stand behind them with my arms crossed and exhale loudly to express how irritated I am.
• When a person is being excessively loud and inconsiderate... I wait and endure the noise for at least 30 minutes to an hour until I can't handle it anymore and then I politely ask them to maybe keep it down a little
• While someone is talking and a little saliva comes out and lands on my face.... They know and I know that they spit on me, but they don't say anything... My eyes probably widen a little and when they turn their head I quickly wipe it off my face.

Those are just a few. There was one instance where I deviated from my usual biting of the tongue behind someone who is holding up the line... A couple of years back around Christmas time, I was at a small shopping place called, Schreiner's in Kerrville with my friend, Katy Jo. Well, anyway, we were waiting to checkout and the lady in front of us recognized the cashier and they started talking about how their families and the holidays and blah, blah, blah. A good 5 minutes roll by and the line has grown to about 10+ people and these women are still shooting the shit. I finally UNintentionally say, "Shit! Just check her out." and Katy Jo says, "I know, right?" The two women stop and turn to look at us. I just look at them with a horrified look and say, "Oh, my gosh... I just said that out loud..." Then, another cashier opened and we bought our stuff and left in a hurry. Oh, the joy of Christmas spirit. I received a lump of coal that year, mind you.

*****

Well, that's it for now. I have to grab my cleats and head to softball class. Click --> THIS <--- All the cool kids are doing it.

The American Demise* - The Deterioration of Human Propriety

*sounds like a band hehe

OK my little galleons let me give you the stitch on what I like to call COMMON KNOWLEDGE. But, it turns out that being courteous is a learned and acquired characteristic. I just always thought that being polite never hurt anyone…

Etiquette 101

Abandon or Trash?

One thing that always astonishes me is when eating out at a fast-food/self-serve restaurant, after people finish their meal... they freaking leave their leftovers/trash on the table. OK... WTF? Do people not know what that container labeled with the word, "TRASH" is for? What I don't understand is that the majority of people do it. I mean was there some kind of memo I missed that read to leave my trash behind for someone to clean? I understand when you're being served, that you're supposed to leave your plates, napkins, etc for the server to clean, but at a place like...McDonald's for example... You're supposed to clean up after yourself, right? I just don't see any logic in the concept of this sequence:

1. Line up and order your own food
2. dispense your own beverage and refills
3. retrieve your own condiments, utensils, napkins, etc
4. eat your meal at your own pace
5. if any additional items are needed, you get them yourself
6. after you're all finished... just get up and leave your mess behind for someone else to clean up
7. and then... not tip
   

*Please notice the problems in red...

Someone please tell me... Is my thinking incorrect or is everyone ill advised?

*****

Don't Just Hold the Phone

Another thing that I ALWAYS do is before opening a door I make sure no one is coming out or coming in behind me. If there is a person coming or going I follow these situations:

1. I always hold open the door and let the person leaving, exit first
2. Open the door and go through and make sure the door is still open for the person behind me
3. Or an exception of course is if the person behind me is an elder or is somewhat physically challenged, I open the door and let them through first and then follow behind.

The downside of all this is sometimes people insist that I go first and we have a mini "politeness" battle or I end up opening the door and then am stuck holding open the door for twenty people, but either way at least I know I did my part.

On a rare occasion where a door is opened for me... I am adamant to make sure that I thank the person for doing so. Surprisingly enough, I don't get much gracious feedback when I open doors for people. You would think I would be banking on the "good karma," but it turns out it's the exact opposite. Here's another classic I have in my repertoire:

~ This story is dedicated to my friend, Erin-Chan, who can "robot" out of any situation... ~

So, thinking of holding open doors... One instance that comes to mind is holding an elevator. OK I'll admit that elevators are kinda tricky. If I see someone coming I stick my hand between the doors and try to keep it open as long as I can before it looks like the doors are about to smash my fingers....most of the time the elevator sensors suck. Or, of course, if I have enough time to decipher the hieroglyphic buttons of what means open or close... I'll hold down the corresponding button.


I try my best to hold the elevator, but my efforts aren't always successful. So, aside from my lengthy "fluff" of an introduction.... A few years back, I was running toward a closing elevator with my hands full of textbooks, trying to beat the slow shutting doors... and I make eye-contact with the guy in the elevator and he immediately starts pressing a button repeatedly. As I'm somewhat sprinting to the elevator I'm thanking the guy for trying to hold the elevator. Miraculously, I make it and slip through the small crack to get inside. Catching my breath, I open my mouth to thank him again and then... I notice that he was pressing the CLOSE BUTTON the whole time!! I rearranged the books in my hand, scoffed, and then gave him a look that read, "Uh, huh... You didn't think I was going to make it did you?" I bet that was the longest elevator ride of two floors that guy has ever ridden on... *sigh* Tisk Tisk... some people... On a somewhat different elevator topic... Why is it that every time I'm waiting for the elevator and I've already pressed the button to call the elevator and it's obviously lit... a person comes up waits a second for the elevator beside me and then goes over and represses the lit button? Are people really making sure if I did it correctly? I mean c'mon... I may look like I don't speak English all that well, but I think I can figure out what's up and down...

*******

A few quick one-liners...

• Is it really that much more effort to flush after business?
• Do guys not give up their seats for ladies anymore?
• Why are most people the rudest to "customer service" employees? i.e. servers, cashiers, greeters, etc...
• Do dropping trays or plates really deserve an ovation?
  
• When returning something... why does the person always ask for a reason?

*REMINDER*
There can never be too many "please(s)" and "thank you(s)" in this world.

FIN

Click here --> HERE <-- to make my day

On the Verge of Madness...

Right now I should be studying s'more for my Japanese listening exam and my midterm for Nature and Environment in Pre-modern and Contemporary Japan* *I know it sounds like a mouthful, but basically it's bullshit... that starts in less than 10 hours, but... I decided not to add insult to injury. How was everyone's weekend? Mine was good in a sense that I did nothing school related and watched TV all day... haha not a good decision I admit on my part. Anyway, believe it or not.. I watched even more movies last Friday: The Haunting in Connecticut, Knowing, and Duplicity. Instead of giving you a descriptive low-down on the flicks let me just say this: Haunting = waste of time, Knowing = wtf?, and Duplicity = pretty good if you pay attention to the plot because it gets a little intricate.

OK, here's a little confession... I didn't pay to watch any of those movies. I know, I know, I'm horrible. But, there is a plus side. This could be termed as "stealing," but think of this: the movie theater is not losing on "physical supply," but rather on "profit opportunity." Does this make any sense? Well, let me put it in other terms. So, let's say hypothetically I'm at a place with a self-serve drinking fountain... let's just say um, Wendy's. So, I order my food and a "water." And instead of dispensing "water" in my obviously clear "water cup" I quickly fill up my cup with a different clear liquid, known as Sprite. So, in this case I got "soda" for free, but Wendy's is not only losing "profit" because I didn't buy a drink, but they are losing "supply" because I got soda instead of water. In the "movie hopping" case, the theater is not losing any "supply" because the actual movie would be playing whether or not I was watching it, but it does lose "profit" because I didn't buy a ticket for said movie... OK that's probably your fill of basic economics for today...

**Random Subject Change Warning aka apple pie...**

So if any of you read Meranie's Tolstoy of a blog, you already know that she stepped on my glasses leaving me "far blind." I went to class today squinting the whole time... thanks Mel... Anyway, at least now I get some new (eye) frames. I was thinking of getting the typical thick black artsy fartsy frames... but I'm not sure yet. Maybe something like this:


Hopefully these frames will still be in stock when I bring 'em my prescription...

I know that many of you haven't been keeping up with March Madness like I have, but none the less I want to know who your picks are within the Final Four.




Personally, for the finals I'm going for all-time fav UConn and the underdog Villanova. What are youse guys thinking?

*Food for Thought* *pun definitely intended...

I was eating by myself the other day and I wasn't particularly looking for anything, but I did notice a small trend to how some people eat. Sitting, eating, and watching I saw multiple people take their first bite of their food and then instinctively nod their heads. OK um... what the hell is everyone "agreeing" to? I don't think you have to say, "yes" to your lunch. I even think I heard a few, "uh, huh(s)." Next time you're out to lunch/dinner... look around... it's weird.

*****
Well, I'm off to fill my head with more shit... I'm finished with my gross week at 11am THIS THURSDAY. Join me for a drink or twelve...?

Click --> HERE <-- to comment

An Oldie, but a Goodie

OK. I'm back online. How was everyone's break? Not long enough, eh? Yeah, it sucks. Well to make you feel a little better I didn't do anything productive over the break. Actually, I probably did the exact opposite.... Over a period of 'bout a week I managed to not get any school work finished, somehow get accidentally terminated at Chili's... temporarily, and have gotten even more stressed out with school. Which none of the three should have come close to describing a Spring "break." *Sigh* I guess I just like to complain a lot. Too bad that can't be a major because shit I'd graduate with honors without breaking a sweat. OK enough with this self-pity rant...

So, has anyone watched anything good lately? All I did over the break was watch March Madness and movies. If anyone else keeps up with basketball or wants to pretend to, you should come over for the final four...even though UT sucked and lost already. These are the most recent movies I've seen:

• Slumdog Millionaire

• The Last House on the Left

• I Love You, Man

I'm going to pull a mini-Ebert and Roper time with these three movies, respectively.

• I thought it was a pretty good movie...though disagree with the Academy that it was the "Best Picture of 2008" I give it a thumbs up, but no Oscar.

• Not much more to expect from a blockbuster suspense thriller. It was entertaining and creepy, but for sure no nominations for acting anytime soon. I'll say it ranged from a mediocre to OK movie... I'll maybe watch it up to 3x in my life, but probably never after that. I recently watched the original, which was not as enjoyable to watch since it's a cheesy late 1970s film. Even though the effects and wardrobe were dated the movie was a lot more disturbing. Some of the stuff made me shudder.

• Comedies are always great. I heart Paul Rudd, but didn't fall in love with his character in this one. Funny movie, but disappointed that there weren't enough quotable quotes to my standards.

******

So, now time for some nostalgia...

*So, if you've heard of my dad's "Apple Pie" story please skip the excerpt in red because you've already heard the story. If it's your first time to catch wind of it please continue to read.

Those of you who have had the pleasure of meeting my dad...You already have the knowledge that he's a pretty easy-going and likable guy. You should also know that he's hard to understand sometimes and is not the best listener. When you put all of these components together you get... irritated. Well, in my case I always do. Anyway, here's one situation that's so my dad:

A while back, my dad went out to grab some dinner. Whenever my dad picks dinner it's never a surprise, it's always fried chicken. Well, anyway he went off to Church's Chicken to get his fix, but while he was out an elder lady, Sue Dyke, who he helps once in a while called him on the house phone. I answered and told her that he just went out and that I'd tell him that she had called. Technology has advanced us so far, but it's only as good as the person using it... So, I called my dad on his cell to remind him of things to get before returning and to tell him the message about Sue. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Oh, hey dad don't forget to grab some napkins because we're out at the house."

Dad: "Oh, okay."

Me: "Oh and some paper plates and utensils too because I don't want to do any dishes later."

Dad: "Okay. Okay."

Me: "Oh, yeah before I forget. Sue Dyke called you earlier."

Dad: "What?"

Me: "Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "What?"

Me (slower and starting to get irritated...): "S u e D y k e c a l l e d."

Dad: "What? You want corn?"

Me (probably yelling at this point) : "What?! Corn? No. I said Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "What?"

Me: "Uh! Nevermind I'll just tell you when you come back."

Dad: "Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you at home."

Me: "Okay." *click

***Later at home***

Dad: "Here's the napkins...the plates... and sporks."

Me: "OK, great. I'm starving."

Dad: "Oh, and here's your apple pie."

Me: "What? What apple pie?"

Dad: "Isn't that why you called me? To say you wanted apple pie?"

Me: "Um, no. I was trying to tell you that Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "Oh... I couldn't understand you."

Me: "Huh? 'Sue Dyke called' and 'I want apple pie' sound nothing alike..."

Dad: "Well, you confused me because you were talking about napkins and plates or whatever."

Me: "What? So, I have to tell you when I change subjects while talking?"

Dad: "Whatever, let's eat."

So, now anytime my dad asks me, "What?" or "Huh?" I just reply with "apple pie" and he instantly gets mad. Now, it's pretty funny because he just says, "Aye yi yi." hehe Anyway, for my Japanese class we had to write a composition about a personal experience so I chose this one. There are some things that I don't really know how to say in Japanese so I changed it a little, but it's pretty much the same story. Here's the twister... I think the story is even funnier in the English from Japanese translation. Keep in mind that it's a straight up direct translation from a free translation site and that it's not 100%. I'm attaching the original composition in Japanese along with my own translation and then followed by the direct free translation. Enjoy!

みんなの話では私の父はおかしいそうです。でも私はそれが本当でないと思います。私の父はおかしい人ではありませんが、おかしい事をします。父はえい語が分かりますが、聞き取りが下手です。

　すう年前に、私の父は、夕ごはんを手に入れに行きました。今、私はレストランの名前を知ることができません。私は父がフライドチキンを買っていたのをおぼえています。父がフライドチキンを買っていた間、スー・ダイクというかれのボスから電話が来ました。私はかれに知らせるために父に電話をしました。「スー・ダイクさんから電話が来ました。」と私は父に言いました。でも、かれは私が何を言っていのか分かりませんでした。それで、「スー・ダイクから電話が来ました。」と、私はもう一度かれにゆっくり言いました。でも父は私が何を言っていたかまだ分りませんでした。それで父は「何と言ったんですか。フライドポテトがほしかったと言いましたか」と私に言いました。「ちがいます。私はフライドポテトにかんして何も言いませんでした。家に帰ってきたらあなたに言うつもりです。」と、私は言いました。父は「それはいいかんがえですね。じゃあまた家で。」そして、私は電話を切りました。

しばらくして、父はフライドチキンとともに帰りました。私の家族は食べ始めました、そして、つぎに、「ここに、あなたのアップルパイがあります。」と、父は私に言いました。「アップルパイがほしいと言いませんでしたよ。私はスー・ダイクさんから電話が来たと言いました。」と、私は父に言いました。父が「本当ですか。私は電話で分かりませんでした。私はあなたがアップルパイがほしいと言ったと思いました。」と言いました。私の父が聞き取らなかったので、それで、私はイライラしているようになりました。

My translation:

According to everyone, my father is funny. I don't believe this. He's not funny he just does funny things. Even though my dad understands English, he is horrible at listening.

A few years back my father went out to get dinner. I don't remember the name of the restaurant, but I do remember he bought fried chicken. His boss, Sue Dyke called when he went out to buy fried chicken. I called him to tell him. I told him, "Sue Dyke called," but he did not understand what I said. So, I said again slowly, "Sue Dyke called." But, he still didn't understand. Dad said, "What did you say? You want French fries?" I said, "No, I didn't say anything about French fries. I'll just tell you when you come home." He said, "Good idea. I'll see you at home." and then I hung up the phone.

Then dad came home with the fried chicken. The family started to eat and then my dad said, "Here's your apple pie." I told him, "I didn't say I wanted apple pie. I said Sue Dyke called." Dad said, "Oh, really? I didn't understand you on the phone. I thought you said you wanted apple pie." And because my father doesn't listen, I become irritated.

Direct translation courtesy of Excite Japanese Translator:

My father seems to be amusing in everyone's story. However, I do not think that it is true. My father does an amusing thing though he is not an amusing person. Catching is unskilled though father English is understood.

My father had gone to obtain rice in the evening before year breathed in. I do not learn the name of the restaurant now. I remember father buying a fried chicken. His Sue Dyke boss called while father was buying a fried chicken. To inform him of it, I called father. I said to father, "Sue Dyke called". However, he has not understood what I say. And, I slowly said to him again, "Sue Dyke called". However, father has not understood what I said yet. And, father :. ｢What did you say?Did you say that it had wanted french fries?｣It said to me solving. ｢It is different. I concerned french fries and did not say anything. I will say to you when arriving back at home. ｣I said. Father｢It is a good idea. Then, at home again. ｣And, I hung up the telephone.

After a while, father returned with a fried chicken. My family began to be eaten, and, next, said by father to me, "Your apple pie is here". ｢It was not said that it would want the apple pie. I said that Sue Dyke had called. ｣I said to father. Father｢Is it true?I have not understood by telephone. I thought that you had said that you would want the apple pie. ｣It said. Then, because my father had not caught it, I came to get irritated.

C O M M E N T ! ! !

Service With a Smile

This weekend I went back home to Kerrville to work at my favorite place, Chili's. Believe it or not it's gotten even lamer... There are all these new rules called "non-negotiables." Here are a few I remember just before I drowned out the voice of the manager:

1. ALWAYS say, "Welcome to Chili's" and introduce yourself to a guest even when you answer the phone
2. ALWAYS make eye-contact with the guests
   
3. ALWAYS put down a knife and a fork for ALL guests when greeting a table
   
4. ALWAYS suggest the feature of the day and one alcoholic drink and one non-alcoholic drink.
5. ALWAYS thank the guest after the meal and invite them to return to the restaurant.

So everyone knows that I'm probably not going to do all these things, but I still get my work done. I'm going to assume that this following situation would be ideal for Chili's. And it goes something like this:

ME: (While putting the silverware and napkin on the table and making eye contact with the guest) "Welcome to Chili's my name is Andrea and I'm going to be taking care of you today/night. Can I start you off with an ice-cold, hand-shaken Presidente margarita or can I cool you off with a refreshing strawberry lemonade?"

Guest: "You know what? That does sounds delicious. I'll have one of those Presidente margaritas and all of my kids will take some strawberry lemonades.

ME: "Oh, right away sir/mam. I'll be right back with your Presidente and strawberry lemonades. How about an order of Southwestern eggrolls to go along with your drinks?"

Guest: "Thank you. I was just thinking how I LOVE those. Go ahead and put those in."

ME: "Not a problem sir/mam. Let me get those drinks prepared for you."

Then throughout their meal the guests are polite, courteous, and appreciative of the server the whole time and after the meal they tip you at least 25%. And then on their way out...

ME: "Thank you so much again for coming in. I hope to see you again soon. Have a good day/evening."

Guest: "Oh, no thank you so much. You have a good evening as well."

******
OK as difficult as it was for me not to vomit while typing that... I'm just going to say if I ever heard this dialogue I would think both the server and the guest are on crack...or they were actors on a server orientation video. Here is how it usually goes when I force myself to attempt doing that kind of crap.

ME: "Welcome to Chili's my name is Andrea and I'm going to be taking care of you today/night. Can I start you off with an ice-cold...

Guest: I want a water.

ME: Um, OK. Would you like to start off with some Southwes---

Guest: --- No, I just want my water.

ME: I'll be right back with that sir/mam.

Then I come back with the drinks and they tell me what they want and I put it their order. While they're waiting for their food I keep refilling their drinks and if heaven forbid it's close to halfway empty they are waving me down yelling, "ANDREA!!!" or "HEY, WAITRESS!" while raising their glass and pointing at it from across the restaurant. Then, they complain about their meal and expect to get it for free and when the do get it for free, will leave your maybe 2 dollars or nothing. Then on their way out:

ME: Thank you come again. Have a good evening.

Guest: (Just walks by you and ignores you)

The reality of service kinda sucks and that's why I hate my job so much sometimes... Anyway, here's my kind of ideal situation with keeping the "non-negotiables" intact.. I'll put the "non-negotiables" in red so you can verify that I'm abiding them.

ME: (While giving the guests the "stink eye" and putting down napkins and forks and handing a knife to the baby to play with) "Welcome to Chili's you fuckers my name is Andrea and I'll be your bitch for the evening. You want a shot of whiskey?... because from the looks of your ugly face, you probably need it. Or do you want a mango tea? If you order that I'm not going to refill it because they're a bitch to make when I'm busy. Oh, yeah...you want to start with some spinach dip or something?

Guest: (Says nothing, puts a 10 or 20 dollar bill on the table, and just leaves)

ME: (While pocketing the money) "Thank you so much. Have a good evening, come see us again."

*****

Voila!! If only I could do this to people and not serve them and still make money.... *sigh* I guess my dream will never come true...

*****

OK enough about work. Here's a little funny... Today in softball I almost died of laughter because there was a line drive grounder hit in the infield and both the pitcher and the shortstop went to make the play and somehow the ball went through the pitchers legs and the shortstop tried to make the play but fell over and pretty much dry-humped the pitcher on the ass. FYI the pitcher was a girl and the shortstop a guy. It look something like this*

*Instead of thumbs up think of a baseball mitt and instead of smiles think of a bright red face...

Haha Anyway, that's all for now. Leave me some love by Adding a Comment.

Dysphoria Week

Yay, we actually played a pretty decent game last night and....won. What a concept. Anyway, the other team wasn't horrible, but they played pretty rough. The girl I was guarding kept pushing off of me to get open and in the first half she somehow knocked me on my back and my head flew back and hit the floor of the court. It didn't feel so great at the time and last night I fell asleep with a massive migraine...and today I have the pleasure of having a new horn protruding from the back of my head...nice.

So, currently I'm letting Grace borrow my school ID on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that she can ride the bus for free. Pretty nice of me, huh? Anyway, I needed to check out a book from the library so I go up to the desk to check it out and of course the girls asks me, "Can I see your id?" Right when she asks me I think, "shit..." Well, I come up with a different idea and decide to buy the book and then I can return it tomorrow. No harm done there, right? Right... well today Mel had a review so I told her she didn't have to pick me up from school today because I'll just ride the bus and meet her at St. Eds. But, if you remember... I need my ID to ride the bus for free. *sigh* So, looks like I shot myself in the foot again. Oh, well it was just like a buck to ride, right? Even though I only invested one dollar to public transportation I feel like every time I ride the city bus I'm putting my well being on the line. There are a lot of bums that ride the bus and their stench is equivalent to an old used rag. So, I'm sitting in the bus minding my own business clutching my books to my chest while waiting for my stop and then I feel a burst of warm air hit the back of my neck. My eyes widen and I'm left speechless because I realize it's from the breath of some homeless dude sitting directly behind me...eww. Before I can jerk my head around and look at the guy with raised eyebrows and disbelief... he exhales largely on my neck again! I was so disgusted my shoulders impulsively shuddered and I moved to the front edge of my seat. I think I might have calmed down by humming to myself like a crazy person. When I got to my stop I ran off the bus in search for some sanitizer to relieve some of the ickiness I felt.

*****

So, this week I'm going to compare to swallowing a pistol... I had 2 exams yesterday: history and a Japanese oral, a written Japanese exam today, economics tomorrow, and then a 7 page paper due Thursday at 2 PM. *sigh* Why does my life suck so bad right now?

In addition to this crapola of school work, I'm in the process of getting sick. I'm not sick yet, but getting there. Sometimes I wish I was already sick so I would be that much closer to be getting over being sick. But, I'm not even sick yet...So, that means I have to wait till I'm sick and then start to get better. Wow...that was a lot of "sick."

If you're reading right now you're probably wondering, "Andrea, if you're so freaking busy...why the hell are you writing in your blog?" Well, my answer is that this is my study break. So, get off my case.

The only upside to this busy week is that it's over on Thursday. Yay! Let's drink until we forget the week, shall we? Anyone who's free this weekend and wants to come over and chill just give me a ring...preferably diamond.

Well, best get back to tying my noose...

Questions That Are Left Unanswered

Nothing too exciting to report...So, I'm just going to make a list of random questions. Feel free to take a stab at some. Okay, here goes...

WHY DO...

• all bus drivers have huge asses*? *well all the ones I've seen @ UT
  
• people always have to go inside before letting people out e.g. elevators, buses, doors, etc
• jean sizes 18+ and 40+ waist have a "slim" fit?
• stupid people have the most to say?
• we have automatic flushers, sinks, soap dispensers, and paper towel dispensers, but not an automatic door?
• people not know how to say "please" and "thank you" anymore?
• Asians always promote peace in pictures?
• people always sit at the end of rows instead of moving to the middle?
  Do they really want crotch or ass in their face that bad?
  
• people always have group conversations in the middle of a high traffic walking areas? i.e. in the middle of hallways, sidewalks, etc
• receptionists wear scrubs?
• people with bad breath always talk so close to your face?
• people sniff around when someone says, "eww..gross...what's that smell?"
• you have to give an excuse to bums if you don't give them money?
• adults still not understand the difference between "your" and "you're?"
• blind people wear sunglasses, but deaf people don't wear ear muffs?

DO YOU THINK...

• dyslexic crossed-eyed people can read straight?
• anyone reads the directions on shampoo bottles?
• elevators smell different to midgets?

One last thing...

• Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp?"
  

Free Car Wash

So, another way to make it rain instead of wearing new shoes is... to wash your car. This weekend I decided to wash my car since the weather was pretty nice, not too cold/hot. But, of course this morning it had to pour. I'm semi-pissed that it rained, but I know we needed some.

Well, this morning when I got ready for school the rain was coming down pretty hard, so I made sure to bring an umbrella. After scrounging around for a few minutes I found two umbrellas: one huge golf umbrella and a super tiny umbrella that would probably only cover my head. So, I brought the huge one today. I must naturally be an unlucky person, because every time I bring an umbrella it stops raining, and when it does rain I'm the only person on campus that doesn't have an umbrella. *sigh* You might ask, why don't I just keep an umbrella in my bag all of the time? Because the one semester I did that it pretty much never rained. So, I didn't want to be the reason for Austin's occasional drought.

I can only remember one time I had an umbrella when it was raining. It was a medium sized one, so maybe two people could fit under it. Well, every time I see a person who is just walking through the rain getting soaked, I feel bad. Plus, I personally think you look like a douche if you're walking with an umbrella next to a person who doesn't. So, the one time I did have an umbrella I decided to offer to share it with the girl walking next to me. I just walked next to her and put the umbrella over both of us, and of course she thanked me. We were both walking toward the same direction, but I had no idea what building she was going to. So, we just silently walked... It got kinda awkward, but luckily she broke the silence asked me if I was going to the engineering building. I told her, "No, I'm actually going to RLM (which is some sort of engineering building)." She must thought I said a different building, because she said, thanks again and then ran out from under the umbrella and started heading to the building she had class in. Little did I know at the time... RLM is right next to the engineering building...So, I continued to walk next to her in the rain, with only myself under the umbrella... That was the only and last time I offered to help someone in the rain...
******

Well, in exception to this recent rain, the weather has been improving. The cold is starting to fade away and warm temperatures are near. So, that means people are going to start wearing more shorts.

There are three kinds of shorts I'm most interested in.

1) The sorority short: the Nike tempo running shorts that come in a wide assortment of colors, but have the exact basic look. They're kinda poofy and have a little rounded slit on the sides. Those are pretty much the only shorts I see sorority girls wear.



2) The basketball short: Long and knee length shorts. These are mostly what guys wear no matter what sport they play. And, if girls wear them I automatically assume they play basketball. These are the kind I wear when I work out, but I wouldn't call myself a "baller."



3) The "word-butt" short: they are usually cotton shorts that have some sort of girly word that reads across someone's ass. E.g.: Hottie, Sexy, Princess. These are one of my least favorites to spot, because no matter how hard I try I always have to look and read what they say. The only reason for these shorts must be to attract one's eye to someone's ass.

So, instead of the typical boring words to catch someone's eye, I've devised my own ideas to make people stare at your ass.

Here is an example of a common one:



This one I think gives a straight forward approach:



Here I think would be more of a kind of invitation:



This one needs no words...

Whoever has this on their backside.... I'm sorry.

If you want even more attention to your rear you could always wear jeans with really small back pockets, or even better pull a chola J-Lo and go pocket-less if you're daring. Or you could walk around with an EXTREME wedgie all day. Either way I don't think these girls would like my ideas, they're too boring...

Today's Picks:

TV: The Bachelor

Music: Jason Mraz

Game: Basketball

Currently Reading: Kokinshu: A Collection of Poems Ancient and
Modern

Current Guilty Pleasure: Dolly Madison Coffee Cakes...yum

Feb rew airy

So, did anyone actually watch the Super Bowl XLIII (43)? I only watched the end of the 4th quarter. It was probably the most exciting part of the game anyway. I was going for Arizona, because everyone else was going for the Steelers. Honestly, I really didn't care.

I went home to Kerrville this past weekend, for my mom's birthday. I never know what to get her, but we ended up getting her a Coach purse. Kerrville is pretty lame so there are no nice places to take her out to dinner, and everyone is sick of Chili's so we just went to Culver's. Well, we decided on Culver's because no one wanted to make a decision. It's just a whole lot of:
"What do you want?"
"I don't know. What do you feel like eating?"
"I don't care whatever you want."

So, this can go on forever, and it drives me crazy, but I have to admit that I'm super indecisive. Hey, at least I can admit this.

Last night was our first intramural game of the season.... Let's just say it was obvious that we've never played together as a team before hand. It was a lot of running around and taking stupid shots. Though, in the second half we started to get it together, but the score deficit proved too much. The final score was like 47-29, or some bullshit. It wasn't pretty. We were all convinced that we need to actually practice together. There was a high point of the game, though. Paul's appearance was entertaining as usual. He wore short golden yellow shorts with a fitted white t-shirt that read in pink letters, "Out of Your League." I actually gave him the shirt, but he honestly looked ridiculous, which I told him to his face. I recruited a girl for the team from my basketball class named, Shelly. And, I was criticizing Paul as usual and she thought that I had just met him. She must have thought I was the meanest person alive. Haha

So, I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately… my favorite. I’m usually not into game shows and crap, but this year is a different story. I watched the American Idol auditions and they were hilarious. Currently, I’m obsessively following the Bachelor…. I know I’m bad.

TV Shows I watch regularly this season:

American Idol

The Bachelor

Brothers & Sisters

Grey's Anatomy

Law & Order CI

Law & Order SVU

Saturday Night Live

Top Chef

and many others...

Anyone else watching the same crap on the tube?