PTTAAF 6*
*PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT ARE ANNOYING &/OR FRUSTRATING
*PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT ARE ANNOYING &/OR FRUSTRATING
That's so.....miscellaneous.
27. When people flake
I understand that sometimes plans turn to shit, but c'mon. There's a difference between change of plans and flaking. There are many definitions for a flake, but each of them share a common word, unreliable. How many times does a person have to ditch plans before they are named unreliable or i.e. a flake? Well, personally I think granting a person three chances is generous. I'm all for hanging and what not, but don't make plans with me to just shit on them later. It's such a waste of time to think you have plans and then in the end, you don't.
28. When people have the wrong winter attire
Of course each person's sense of warmth differentiates due to size or preference, but there are times when you think about a person's outfit with, "Wow, I guess it's not that hot/cold out here." It's hard to visualize without clip art, eh? Well, let me help you out with that.
Let me categorize what I think is appropriate for the according temperatures* Please note that these are in terms of Tejas weather, so all you Canadians shut your trap. Especially, you Alanis Morissette. Nobody cares what you think. As for your ex-fiancé, Ryan Reynolds....mmmm he can talk. Anyway, enough Canadian bashing. Let's get to it.
40s - Freezing temperatures:
First off, if it's freezing in Texas my advice is to...stay indoors. No one here can drive in sleet let alone snow. Southern people can't even handle drizzle. Let's all do everyone a favor and keep our lives by staying off the roads. If you do decide to turn mental and go out side...the key word is layers.
First layer/next to skin- should be something that takes away the sweat from the body. I'm sure many of you are thinking a t-shirt, but cotton soaks up water and doesn't evaporate quickly. I prefer to wear Nike Dri-Fit. Some of you may ask, "What's Dri-fit?" Well, here's Nike's description: Dri-Fit: This high-performance, microfiber, polyester fabric wicks sweat away from the body and moves it to the fabric surface, where it evaporates. As a result, Dri-FIT fabric helps you stay dry and comfortable.
Well, I'm sold.
Middle layer/thermal layer- This is where you wear your warmest stuff. The hideous wool sweater you got from one of your aunts from Christmas will do. If it's it's cold enough it won't matter because you'll have another layer to hide the vomit green color of your sweater and you can blame the beet-red face from the cold/wind.
*Note that I do not/never will own this sweater
Outer layer- This should be water proof and wind resistant. This will keep you warm by protecting your thermal layer from being cold and wet. A down puff jacket will do it it's really cold, but it might not be very accessible or practical. And for all you Whitey Whitersons, we all know how you adore your North Face jacket.
*****
So, I already established this is for really really cold climate, and you can always add layers between these basic ones. But, if you only wear a T-shirt under your stupid letter jacket and complain it's cold...Get the F out of my face. Also, you frat boys who stroll around campus in freezing temperatures with your stupid sailor shorts, Sperry Topsiders with no socks, and backwards cap...YOU DON'T LOOK "COOL!" Pun halfway intended. I for one think if it's freezing and you're wearing shorts and a T-shirt and are pale white and shivering, you're an IDIOT. I have no sympathy for stupid people. If you want my sympathy, back of the line.
50s-60s:
Down here, this is still considered a bit cold. I would think at least a light jacket for the morning is a must and then if it warms up you can just take it off. Only thing about this is that when it's freaking cold in the morning and when noon hits the suns slaps you across the face, I tend to get irritated to carry my jacket around. And tying the sleeves around your waist/shoulders only works for Polo Ralph Lauren models.
70s:
70s can still be cool, but it's not cold any more. Take off your damn turtleneck and destroy your Snuggie for dogs.
80s:
It's warm. No need for winter attire at all. Enjoy the nice weather, douchebags. Take off your hoodie and sit on it.
90s-100:
It's f'ing hot. If you're wearing any sort of jacket, you deserve to be punched square in the mouth. Period. Unless of course you have some sort of skin problem...OK the kids off of The Others have a pass, everyone else a fist to the face.
29. When people chime in on conversations they know nothing about
If I'm speaking to one person, there's probably a reason I'm speaking to ONE person. Don't walk up beside me and stare at us and wait for something to comment on. If you notice that when you walk up to a conversation and the people look at you funny and turn back and say, "Anyway..." and continue with their conversation, most likely they don't want you standing there. Another hint to know you're not wanted to have a conversation with is when a person only answers in one/two syllable words. E.g.: Uh, huh, OK, yeah, yes, etcetera.
30. Dr. Honeydew* I don't really hate the Muppets character, but I do hate the person he resembles.
For those of you who have no idea who this person is, feel privileged. Just knowing that this person exists in the world makes me die inside a little every day. This is no hyperbole. I HATE this man. You think that my blog is full of hate and disgust? Well, words cannot describe how much I despise this person. Just thinking about him disgusts me to the core. I'm just going to leave it at this because I don't want to start having a tantrum and have a cerebral (brain) aneurysm. Ballooning blood vessel in the brain? Yeah, no thanks. But, I will open up the comments for anyone who thinks they know who Dr. Honeydew is. I would please request that you do not include his/her name, but to just include what you think of this person. And, if you are unsure or are unaware of who Dr. Honeydew indeed is, I'm sure there is a person you know who is the equivalent, so please describe your arch nemesis. Please, this is an open space so comment away.
