The American Demise* - The Deterioration of Human Propriety

*sounds like a band hehe

OK my little galleons let me give you the stitch on what I like to call COMMON KNOWLEDGE. But, it turns out that being courteous is a learned and acquired characteristic. I just always thought that being polite never hurt anyone…

Etiquette 101

Abandon or Trash?

One thing that always astonishes me is when eating out at a fast-food/self-serve restaurant, after people finish their meal... they freaking leave their leftovers/trash on the table. OK... WTF? Do people not know what that container labeled with the word, "TRASH" is for? What I don't understand is that the majority of people do it. I mean was there some kind of memo I missed that read to leave my trash behind for someone to clean? I understand when you're being served, that you're supposed to leave your plates, napkins, etc for the server to clean, but at a place like...McDonald's for example... You're supposed to clean up after yourself, right? I just don't see any logic in the concept of this sequence:

1. Line up and order your own food
2. dispense your own beverage and refills
3. retrieve your own condiments, utensils, napkins, etc
4. eat your meal at your own pace
5. if any additional items are needed, you get them yourself
6. after you're all finished... just get up and leave your mess behind for someone else to clean up
7. and then... not tip
   

*Please notice the problems in red...

Someone please tell me... Is my thinking incorrect or is everyone ill advised?

*****

Don't Just Hold the Phone

Another thing that I ALWAYS do is before opening a door I make sure no one is coming out or coming in behind me. If there is a person coming or going I follow these situations:

1. I always hold open the door and let the person leaving, exit first
2. Open the door and go through and make sure the door is still open for the person behind me
3. Or an exception of course is if the person behind me is an elder or is somewhat physically challenged, I open the door and let them through first and then follow behind.

The downside of all this is sometimes people insist that I go first and we have a mini "politeness" battle or I end up opening the door and then am stuck holding open the door for twenty people, but either way at least I know I did my part.

On a rare occasion where a door is opened for me... I am adamant to make sure that I thank the person for doing so. Surprisingly enough, I don't get much gracious feedback when I open doors for people. You would think I would be banking on the "good karma," but it turns out it's the exact opposite. Here's another classic I have in my repertoire:

~ This story is dedicated to my friend, Erin-Chan, who can "robot" out of any situation... ~

So, thinking of holding open doors... One instance that comes to mind is holding an elevator. OK I'll admit that elevators are kinda tricky. If I see someone coming I stick my hand between the doors and try to keep it open as long as I can before it looks like the doors are about to smash my fingers....most of the time the elevator sensors suck. Or, of course, if I have enough time to decipher the hieroglyphic buttons of what means open or close... I'll hold down the corresponding button.


I try my best to hold the elevator, but my efforts aren't always successful. So, aside from my lengthy "fluff" of an introduction.... A few years back, I was running toward a closing elevator with my hands full of textbooks, trying to beat the slow shutting doors... and I make eye-contact with the guy in the elevator and he immediately starts pressing a button repeatedly. As I'm somewhat sprinting to the elevator I'm thanking the guy for trying to hold the elevator. Miraculously, I make it and slip through the small crack to get inside. Catching my breath, I open my mouth to thank him again and then... I notice that he was pressing the CLOSE BUTTON the whole time!! I rearranged the books in my hand, scoffed, and then gave him a look that read, "Uh, huh... You didn't think I was going to make it did you?" I bet that was the longest elevator ride of two floors that guy has ever ridden on... *sigh* Tisk Tisk... some people... On a somewhat different elevator topic... Why is it that every time I'm waiting for the elevator and I've already pressed the button to call the elevator and it's obviously lit... a person comes up waits a second for the elevator beside me and then goes over and represses the lit button? Are people really making sure if I did it correctly? I mean c'mon... I may look like I don't speak English all that well, but I think I can figure out what's up and down...

*******

A few quick one-liners...

• Is it really that much more effort to flush after business?
• Do guys not give up their seats for ladies anymore?
• Why are most people the rudest to "customer service" employees? i.e. servers, cashiers, greeters, etc...
• Do dropping trays or plates really deserve an ovation?
  
• When returning something... why does the person always ask for a reason?

*REMINDER*
There can never be too many "please(s)" and "thank you(s)" in this world.

FIN

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On the Verge of Madness...

Right now I should be studying s'more for my Japanese listening exam and my midterm for Nature and Environment in Pre-modern and Contemporary Japan* *I know it sounds like a mouthful, but basically it's bullshit... that starts in less than 10 hours, but... I decided not to add insult to injury. How was everyone's weekend? Mine was good in a sense that I did nothing school related and watched TV all day... haha not a good decision I admit on my part. Anyway, believe it or not.. I watched even more movies last Friday: The Haunting in Connecticut, Knowing, and Duplicity. Instead of giving you a descriptive low-down on the flicks let me just say this: Haunting = waste of time, Knowing = wtf?, and Duplicity = pretty good if you pay attention to the plot because it gets a little intricate.

OK, here's a little confession... I didn't pay to watch any of those movies. I know, I know, I'm horrible. But, there is a plus side. This could be termed as "stealing," but think of this: the movie theater is not losing on "physical supply," but rather on "profit opportunity." Does this make any sense? Well, let me put it in other terms. So, let's say hypothetically I'm at a place with a self-serve drinking fountain... let's just say um, Wendy's. So, I order my food and a "water." And instead of dispensing "water" in my obviously clear "water cup" I quickly fill up my cup with a different clear liquid, known as Sprite. So, in this case I got "soda" for free, but Wendy's is not only losing "profit" because I didn't buy a drink, but they are losing "supply" because I got soda instead of water. In the "movie hopping" case, the theater is not losing any "supply" because the actual movie would be playing whether or not I was watching it, but it does lose "profit" because I didn't buy a ticket for said movie... OK that's probably your fill of basic economics for today...

**Random Subject Change Warning aka apple pie...**

So if any of you read Meranie's Tolstoy of a blog, you already know that she stepped on my glasses leaving me "far blind." I went to class today squinting the whole time... thanks Mel... Anyway, at least now I get some new (eye) frames. I was thinking of getting the typical thick black artsy fartsy frames... but I'm not sure yet. Maybe something like this:


Hopefully these frames will still be in stock when I bring 'em my prescription...

I know that many of you haven't been keeping up with March Madness like I have, but none the less I want to know who your picks are within the Final Four.




Personally, for the finals I'm going for all-time fav UConn and the underdog Villanova. What are youse guys thinking?

*Food for Thought* *pun definitely intended...

I was eating by myself the other day and I wasn't particularly looking for anything, but I did notice a small trend to how some people eat. Sitting, eating, and watching I saw multiple people take their first bite of their food and then instinctively nod their heads. OK um... what the hell is everyone "agreeing" to? I don't think you have to say, "yes" to your lunch. I even think I heard a few, "uh, huh(s)." Next time you're out to lunch/dinner... look around... it's weird.

*****
Well, I'm off to fill my head with more shit... I'm finished with my gross week at 11am THIS THURSDAY. Join me for a drink or twelve...?

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An Oldie, but a Goodie

OK. I'm back online. How was everyone's break? Not long enough, eh? Yeah, it sucks. Well to make you feel a little better I didn't do anything productive over the break. Actually, I probably did the exact opposite.... Over a period of 'bout a week I managed to not get any school work finished, somehow get accidentally terminated at Chili's... temporarily, and have gotten even more stressed out with school. Which none of the three should have come close to describing a Spring "break." *Sigh* I guess I just like to complain a lot. Too bad that can't be a major because shit I'd graduate with honors without breaking a sweat. OK enough with this self-pity rant...

So, has anyone watched anything good lately? All I did over the break was watch March Madness and movies. If anyone else keeps up with basketball or wants to pretend to, you should come over for the final four...even though UT sucked and lost already. These are the most recent movies I've seen:

• Slumdog Millionaire

• The Last House on the Left

• I Love You, Man

I'm going to pull a mini-Ebert and Roper time with these three movies, respectively.

• I thought it was a pretty good movie...though disagree with the Academy that it was the "Best Picture of 2008" I give it a thumbs up, but no Oscar.

• Not much more to expect from a blockbuster suspense thriller. It was entertaining and creepy, but for sure no nominations for acting anytime soon. I'll say it ranged from a mediocre to OK movie... I'll maybe watch it up to 3x in my life, but probably never after that. I recently watched the original, which was not as enjoyable to watch since it's a cheesy late 1970s film. Even though the effects and wardrobe were dated the movie was a lot more disturbing. Some of the stuff made me shudder.

• Comedies are always great. I heart Paul Rudd, but didn't fall in love with his character in this one. Funny movie, but disappointed that there weren't enough quotable quotes to my standards.

******

So, now time for some nostalgia...

*So, if you've heard of my dad's "Apple Pie" story please skip the excerpt in red because you've already heard the story. If it's your first time to catch wind of it please continue to read.

Those of you who have had the pleasure of meeting my dad...You already have the knowledge that he's a pretty easy-going and likable guy. You should also know that he's hard to understand sometimes and is not the best listener. When you put all of these components together you get... irritated. Well, in my case I always do. Anyway, here's one situation that's so my dad:

A while back, my dad went out to grab some dinner. Whenever my dad picks dinner it's never a surprise, it's always fried chicken. Well, anyway he went off to Church's Chicken to get his fix, but while he was out an elder lady, Sue Dyke, who he helps once in a while called him on the house phone. I answered and told her that he just went out and that I'd tell him that she had called. Technology has advanced us so far, but it's only as good as the person using it... So, I called my dad on his cell to remind him of things to get before returning and to tell him the message about Sue. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Oh, hey dad don't forget to grab some napkins because we're out at the house."

Dad: "Oh, okay."

Me: "Oh and some paper plates and utensils too because I don't want to do any dishes later."

Dad: "Okay. Okay."

Me: "Oh, yeah before I forget. Sue Dyke called you earlier."

Dad: "What?"

Me: "Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "What?"

Me (slower and starting to get irritated...): "S u e D y k e c a l l e d."

Dad: "What? You want corn?"

Me (probably yelling at this point) : "What?! Corn? No. I said Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "What?"

Me: "Uh! Nevermind I'll just tell you when you come back."

Dad: "Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you at home."

Me: "Okay." *click

***Later at home***

Dad: "Here's the napkins...the plates... and sporks."

Me: "OK, great. I'm starving."

Dad: "Oh, and here's your apple pie."

Me: "What? What apple pie?"

Dad: "Isn't that why you called me? To say you wanted apple pie?"

Me: "Um, no. I was trying to tell you that Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "Oh... I couldn't understand you."

Me: "Huh? 'Sue Dyke called' and 'I want apple pie' sound nothing alike..."

Dad: "Well, you confused me because you were talking about napkins and plates or whatever."

Me: "What? So, I have to tell you when I change subjects while talking?"

Dad: "Whatever, let's eat."

So, now anytime my dad asks me, "What?" or "Huh?" I just reply with "apple pie" and he instantly gets mad. Now, it's pretty funny because he just says, "Aye yi yi." hehe Anyway, for my Japanese class we had to write a composition about a personal experience so I chose this one. There are some things that I don't really know how to say in Japanese so I changed it a little, but it's pretty much the same story. Here's the twister... I think the story is even funnier in the English from Japanese translation. Keep in mind that it's a straight up direct translation from a free translation site and that it's not 100%. I'm attaching the original composition in Japanese along with my own translation and then followed by the direct free translation. Enjoy!

みんなの話では私の父はおかしいそうです。でも私はそれが本当でないと思います。私の父はおかしい人ではありませんが、おかしい事をします。父はえい語が分かりますが、聞き取りが下手です。

　すう年前に、私の父は、夕ごはんを手に入れに行きました。今、私はレストランの名前を知ることができません。私は父がフライドチキンを買っていたのをおぼえています。父がフライドチキンを買っていた間、スー・ダイクというかれのボスから電話が来ました。私はかれに知らせるために父に電話をしました。「スー・ダイクさんから電話が来ました。」と私は父に言いました。でも、かれは私が何を言っていのか分かりませんでした。それで、「スー・ダイクから電話が来ました。」と、私はもう一度かれにゆっくり言いました。でも父は私が何を言っていたかまだ分りませんでした。それで父は「何と言ったんですか。フライドポテトがほしかったと言いましたか」と私に言いました。「ちがいます。私はフライドポテトにかんして何も言いませんでした。家に帰ってきたらあなたに言うつもりです。」と、私は言いました。父は「それはいいかんがえですね。じゃあまた家で。」そして、私は電話を切りました。

しばらくして、父はフライドチキンとともに帰りました。私の家族は食べ始めました、そして、つぎに、「ここに、あなたのアップルパイがあります。」と、父は私に言いました。「アップルパイがほしいと言いませんでしたよ。私はスー・ダイクさんから電話が来たと言いました。」と、私は父に言いました。父が「本当ですか。私は電話で分かりませんでした。私はあなたがアップルパイがほしいと言ったと思いました。」と言いました。私の父が聞き取らなかったので、それで、私はイライラしているようになりました。

My translation:

According to everyone, my father is funny. I don't believe this. He's not funny he just does funny things. Even though my dad understands English, he is horrible at listening.

A few years back my father went out to get dinner. I don't remember the name of the restaurant, but I do remember he bought fried chicken. His boss, Sue Dyke called when he went out to buy fried chicken. I called him to tell him. I told him, "Sue Dyke called," but he did not understand what I said. So, I said again slowly, "Sue Dyke called." But, he still didn't understand. Dad said, "What did you say? You want French fries?" I said, "No, I didn't say anything about French fries. I'll just tell you when you come home." He said, "Good idea. I'll see you at home." and then I hung up the phone.

Then dad came home with the fried chicken. The family started to eat and then my dad said, "Here's your apple pie." I told him, "I didn't say I wanted apple pie. I said Sue Dyke called." Dad said, "Oh, really? I didn't understand you on the phone. I thought you said you wanted apple pie." And because my father doesn't listen, I become irritated.

Direct translation courtesy of Excite Japanese Translator:

My father seems to be amusing in everyone's story. However, I do not think that it is true. My father does an amusing thing though he is not an amusing person. Catching is unskilled though father English is understood.

My father had gone to obtain rice in the evening before year breathed in. I do not learn the name of the restaurant now. I remember father buying a fried chicken. His Sue Dyke boss called while father was buying a fried chicken. To inform him of it, I called father. I said to father, "Sue Dyke called". However, he has not understood what I say. And, I slowly said to him again, "Sue Dyke called". However, father has not understood what I said yet. And, father :. ｢What did you say?Did you say that it had wanted french fries?｣It said to me solving. ｢It is different. I concerned french fries and did not say anything. I will say to you when arriving back at home. ｣I said. Father｢It is a good idea. Then, at home again. ｣And, I hung up the telephone.

After a while, father returned with a fried chicken. My family began to be eaten, and, next, said by father to me, "Your apple pie is here". ｢It was not said that it would want the apple pie. I said that Sue Dyke had called. ｣I said to father. Father｢Is it true?I have not understood by telephone. I thought that you had said that you would want the apple pie. ｣It said. Then, because my father had not caught it, I came to get irritated.

C O M M E N T ! ! !

Service With a Smile

This weekend I went back home to Kerrville to work at my favorite place, Chili's. Believe it or not it's gotten even lamer... There are all these new rules called "non-negotiables." Here are a few I remember just before I drowned out the voice of the manager:

1. ALWAYS say, "Welcome to Chili's" and introduce yourself to a guest even when you answer the phone
2. ALWAYS make eye-contact with the guests
   
3. ALWAYS put down a knife and a fork for ALL guests when greeting a table
   
4. ALWAYS suggest the feature of the day and one alcoholic drink and one non-alcoholic drink.
5. ALWAYS thank the guest after the meal and invite them to return to the restaurant.

So everyone knows that I'm probably not going to do all these things, but I still get my work done. I'm going to assume that this following situation would be ideal for Chili's. And it goes something like this:

ME: (While putting the silverware and napkin on the table and making eye contact with the guest) "Welcome to Chili's my name is Andrea and I'm going to be taking care of you today/night. Can I start you off with an ice-cold, hand-shaken Presidente margarita or can I cool you off with a refreshing strawberry lemonade?"

Guest: "You know what? That does sounds delicious. I'll have one of those Presidente margaritas and all of my kids will take some strawberry lemonades.

ME: "Oh, right away sir/mam. I'll be right back with your Presidente and strawberry lemonades. How about an order of Southwestern eggrolls to go along with your drinks?"

Guest: "Thank you. I was just thinking how I LOVE those. Go ahead and put those in."

ME: "Not a problem sir/mam. Let me get those drinks prepared for you."

Then throughout their meal the guests are polite, courteous, and appreciative of the server the whole time and after the meal they tip you at least 25%. And then on their way out...

ME: "Thank you so much again for coming in. I hope to see you again soon. Have a good day/evening."

Guest: "Oh, no thank you so much. You have a good evening as well."

******
OK as difficult as it was for me not to vomit while typing that... I'm just going to say if I ever heard this dialogue I would think both the server and the guest are on crack...or they were actors on a server orientation video. Here is how it usually goes when I force myself to attempt doing that kind of crap.

ME: "Welcome to Chili's my name is Andrea and I'm going to be taking care of you today/night. Can I start you off with an ice-cold...

Guest: I want a water.

ME: Um, OK. Would you like to start off with some Southwes---

Guest: --- No, I just want my water.

ME: I'll be right back with that sir/mam.

Then I come back with the drinks and they tell me what they want and I put it their order. While they're waiting for their food I keep refilling their drinks and if heaven forbid it's close to halfway empty they are waving me down yelling, "ANDREA!!!" or "HEY, WAITRESS!" while raising their glass and pointing at it from across the restaurant. Then, they complain about their meal and expect to get it for free and when the do get it for free, will leave your maybe 2 dollars or nothing. Then on their way out:

ME: Thank you come again. Have a good evening.

Guest: (Just walks by you and ignores you)

The reality of service kinda sucks and that's why I hate my job so much sometimes... Anyway, here's my kind of ideal situation with keeping the "non-negotiables" intact.. I'll put the "non-negotiables" in red so you can verify that I'm abiding them.

ME: (While giving the guests the "stink eye" and putting down napkins and forks and handing a knife to the baby to play with) "Welcome to Chili's you fuckers my name is Andrea and I'll be your bitch for the evening. You want a shot of whiskey?... because from the looks of your ugly face, you probably need it. Or do you want a mango tea? If you order that I'm not going to refill it because they're a bitch to make when I'm busy. Oh, yeah...you want to start with some spinach dip or something?

Guest: (Says nothing, puts a 10 or 20 dollar bill on the table, and just leaves)

ME: (While pocketing the money) "Thank you so much. Have a good evening, come see us again."

*****

Voila!! If only I could do this to people and not serve them and still make money.... *sigh* I guess my dream will never come true...

*****

OK enough about work. Here's a little funny... Today in softball I almost died of laughter because there was a line drive grounder hit in the infield and both the pitcher and the shortstop went to make the play and somehow the ball went through the pitchers legs and the shortstop tried to make the play but fell over and pretty much dry-humped the pitcher on the ass. FYI the pitcher was a girl and the shortstop a guy. It look something like this*

*Instead of thumbs up think of a baseball mitt and instead of smiles think of a bright red face...

Haha Anyway, that's all for now. Leave me some love by Adding a Comment.