An Oldie, but a Goodie

OK. I'm back online. How was everyone's break? Not long enough, eh? Yeah, it sucks. Well to make you feel a little better I didn't do anything productive over the break. Actually, I probably did the exact opposite.... Over a period of 'bout a week I managed to not get any school work finished, somehow get accidentally terminated at Chili's... temporarily, and have gotten even more stressed out with school. Which none of the three should have come close to describing a Spring "break." *Sigh* I guess I just like to complain a lot. Too bad that can't be a major because shit I'd graduate with honors without breaking a sweat. OK enough with this self-pity rant...

So, has anyone watched anything good lately? All I did over the break was watch March Madness and movies. If anyone else keeps up with basketball or wants to pretend to, you should come over for the final four...even though UT sucked and lost already. These are the most recent movies I've seen:

• Slumdog Millionaire

• The Last House on the Left

• I Love You, Man

I'm going to pull a mini-Ebert and Roper time with these three movies, respectively.

• I thought it was a pretty good movie...though disagree with the Academy that it was the "Best Picture of 2008" I give it a thumbs up, but no Oscar.

• Not much more to expect from a blockbuster suspense thriller. It was entertaining and creepy, but for sure no nominations for acting anytime soon. I'll say it ranged from a mediocre to OK movie... I'll maybe watch it up to 3x in my life, but probably never after that. I recently watched the original, which was not as enjoyable to watch since it's a cheesy late 1970s film. Even though the effects and wardrobe were dated the movie was a lot more disturbing. Some of the stuff made me shudder.

• Comedies are always great. I heart Paul Rudd, but didn't fall in love with his character in this one. Funny movie, but disappointed that there weren't enough quotable quotes to my standards.

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So, now time for some nostalgia...

*So, if you've heard of my dad's "Apple Pie" story please skip the excerpt in red because you've already heard the story. If it's your first time to catch wind of it please continue to read.

Those of you who have had the pleasure of meeting my dad...You already have the knowledge that he's a pretty easy-going and likable guy. You should also know that he's hard to understand sometimes and is not the best listener. When you put all of these components together you get... irritated. Well, in my case I always do. Anyway, here's one situation that's so my dad:

A while back, my dad went out to grab some dinner. Whenever my dad picks dinner it's never a surprise, it's always fried chicken. Well, anyway he went off to Church's Chicken to get his fix, but while he was out an elder lady, Sue Dyke, who he helps once in a while called him on the house phone. I answered and told her that he just went out and that I'd tell him that she had called. Technology has advanced us so far, but it's only as good as the person using it... So, I called my dad on his cell to remind him of things to get before returning and to tell him the message about Sue. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Oh, hey dad don't forget to grab some napkins because we're out at the house."

Dad: "Oh, okay."

Me: "Oh and some paper plates and utensils too because I don't want to do any dishes later."

Dad: "Okay. Okay."

Me: "Oh, yeah before I forget. Sue Dyke called you earlier."

Dad: "What?"

Me: "Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "What?"

Me (slower and starting to get irritated...): "S u e D y k e c a l l e d."

Dad: "What? You want corn?"

Me (probably yelling at this point) : "What?! Corn? No. I said Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "What?"

Me: "Uh! Nevermind I'll just tell you when you come back."

Dad: "Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you at home."

Me: "Okay." *click

***Later at home***

Dad: "Here's the napkins...the plates... and sporks."

Me: "OK, great. I'm starving."

Dad: "Oh, and here's your apple pie."

Me: "What? What apple pie?"

Dad: "Isn't that why you called me? To say you wanted apple pie?"

Me: "Um, no. I was trying to tell you that Sue Dyke called."

Dad: "Oh... I couldn't understand you."

Me: "Huh? 'Sue Dyke called' and 'I want apple pie' sound nothing alike..."

Dad: "Well, you confused me because you were talking about napkins and plates or whatever."

Me: "What? So, I have to tell you when I change subjects while talking?"

Dad: "Whatever, let's eat."

So, now anytime my dad asks me, "What?" or "Huh?" I just reply with "apple pie" and he instantly gets mad. Now, it's pretty funny because he just says, "Aye yi yi." hehe Anyway, for my Japanese class we had to write a composition about a personal experience so I chose this one. There are some things that I don't really know how to say in Japanese so I changed it a little, but it's pretty much the same story. Here's the twister... I think the story is even funnier in the English from Japanese translation. Keep in mind that it's a straight up direct translation from a free translation site and that it's not 100%. I'm attaching the original composition in Japanese along with my own translation and then followed by the direct free translation. Enjoy!

みんなの話では私の父はおかしいそうです。でも私はそれが本当でないと思います。私の父はおかしい人ではありませんが、おかしい事をします。父はえい語が分かりますが、聞き取りが下手です。

　すう年前に、私の父は、夕ごはんを手に入れに行きました。今、私はレストランの名前を知ることができません。私は父がフライドチキンを買っていたのをおぼえています。父がフライドチキンを買っていた間、スー・ダイクというかれのボスから電話が来ました。私はかれに知らせるために父に電話をしました。「スー・ダイクさんから電話が来ました。」と私は父に言いました。でも、かれは私が何を言っていのか分かりませんでした。それで、「スー・ダイクから電話が来ました。」と、私はもう一度かれにゆっくり言いました。でも父は私が何を言っていたかまだ分りませんでした。それで父は「何と言ったんですか。フライドポテトがほしかったと言いましたか」と私に言いました。「ちがいます。私はフライドポテトにかんして何も言いませんでした。家に帰ってきたらあなたに言うつもりです。」と、私は言いました。父は「それはいいかんがえですね。じゃあまた家で。」そして、私は電話を切りました。

しばらくして、父はフライドチキンとともに帰りました。私の家族は食べ始めました、そして、つぎに、「ここに、あなたのアップルパイがあります。」と、父は私に言いました。「アップルパイがほしいと言いませんでしたよ。私はスー・ダイクさんから電話が来たと言いました。」と、私は父に言いました。父が「本当ですか。私は電話で分かりませんでした。私はあなたがアップルパイがほしいと言ったと思いました。」と言いました。私の父が聞き取らなかったので、それで、私はイライラしているようになりました。

My translation:

According to everyone, my father is funny. I don't believe this. He's not funny he just does funny things. Even though my dad understands English, he is horrible at listening.

A few years back my father went out to get dinner. I don't remember the name of the restaurant, but I do remember he bought fried chicken. His boss, Sue Dyke called when he went out to buy fried chicken. I called him to tell him. I told him, "Sue Dyke called," but he did not understand what I said. So, I said again slowly, "Sue Dyke called." But, he still didn't understand. Dad said, "What did you say? You want French fries?" I said, "No, I didn't say anything about French fries. I'll just tell you when you come home." He said, "Good idea. I'll see you at home." and then I hung up the phone.

Then dad came home with the fried chicken. The family started to eat and then my dad said, "Here's your apple pie." I told him, "I didn't say I wanted apple pie. I said Sue Dyke called." Dad said, "Oh, really? I didn't understand you on the phone. I thought you said you wanted apple pie." And because my father doesn't listen, I become irritated.

Direct translation courtesy of Excite Japanese Translator:

My father seems to be amusing in everyone's story. However, I do not think that it is true. My father does an amusing thing though he is not an amusing person. Catching is unskilled though father English is understood.

My father had gone to obtain rice in the evening before year breathed in. I do not learn the name of the restaurant now. I remember father buying a fried chicken. His Sue Dyke boss called while father was buying a fried chicken. To inform him of it, I called father. I said to father, "Sue Dyke called". However, he has not understood what I say. And, I slowly said to him again, "Sue Dyke called". However, father has not understood what I said yet. And, father :. ｢What did you say?Did you say that it had wanted french fries?｣It said to me solving. ｢It is different. I concerned french fries and did not say anything. I will say to you when arriving back at home. ｣I said. Father｢It is a good idea. Then, at home again. ｣And, I hung up the telephone.

After a while, father returned with a fried chicken. My family began to be eaten, and, next, said by father to me, "Your apple pie is here". ｢It was not said that it would want the apple pie. I said that Sue Dyke had called. ｣I said to father. Father｢Is it true?I have not understood by telephone. I thought that you had said that you would want the apple pie. ｣It said. Then, because my father had not caught it, I came to get irritated.

C O M M E N T ! ! !